Tuesday, June 5, 2007

Goodell Takes Aim At History

I guess there is no doubt that the NFL has a new sheriff. Fresh off his suspensions of Pacman Jones and Chris Henry, new commissioner Roger Goodell set his radar on Tank Johnson, and banged out an 8 game suspension. What will he do with Michael Vick regarding the dog fighting? An anxious world awaits.

Claiming he wanted to "strike while the iron was hot", Goodell today suspended O.J. Simpson, retroactively, for the 1973 season. "Being able to remove this blemish from our great game was something that had to be done, even if my predessors didn't have the stones to carry it out." he said. Effective immediately, Simpson's then record setting 2,003 rushing yards will be stricken from the record books, and his bust tossed onto the lawn in Canton, where passers by will be encouraged to "do whatever is needed" to vent their frustrations.

Simpson could not be reached for comment, as he continues his search for the real killers.

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