Friday, May 11, 2007

Goodness Gracious! Clemens Returns!

I actually have a tiny bit of pity for the Yankees here. Think about it, the most hallowed franchise in sports was reduced to what amounted to begging a 45 year old pitcher to stop by when he has a moment and pitch into the sixth inning, while paying him about $1 million every time they give him the ball.

This is the team which does not allow facial hair, which no player is ever bigger than, which is steeped in tradition. No more. Today, they're the exact same as the Houston Astros, the last team to kiss Roger's butt and give him the most ridiculous consulting assignment in history.

The entire thing is high comedy. Clemens actually said he had no idea the "I'm flying home between starts" clause was even in the contract? Really? He expects us to believe that?

How about the unveiling of the news at Yankee Stadium on Sunday? What a joke. Again, the Yankees, baseball's classiest team, resorts to cheap theatrical tactics worthy of P.T. Barnum to spring the news on the world. Radio voice Suzyn Waldman practically wet her pants in the broadcast booth, reacting as if Joe DiMaggio and Mickey Mantle were also returning. Goodness gracious indeed.

Not that we here at BIMRVM take any pleasure in the misfortune of others, but it would be really fun if Clemens is nothing more than mediocre once he starts throwing. Something along the lines of 8-7 with a 4.50 ERA would be enough. Numbers that one of the young Yankee arms could easily reproduce, for about $27.8 million less.

Either that, or a failed HGH test. Either option would make our year.

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