Wednesday, February 21, 2007

Norv: The Best Damned Interview Ever

I'm still trying to get my head around the fact that the Chargers hired Norv Turner to fill their coaching vacancy. I understand that waiting until mid February limits the pool of candidates somewhat, but recycling Turner? Why?

Turner's career record as a head coach is 58-82-1.

Read that sentence again.

Widely considered a nice guy, it is thought he will bring a calmness to the franchise. Because as everyone knows, since Tony Dungy and Lovie Smith each made it to the Super Bowl calmness is the new genius.

Turner has had ample opportunity to prove his mettle as a Head Coach, and pretty much stunk up the joint each time. The only rationale I can think of is that he must be the single most awesome interview, ever.

Maybe it went like this:

Chargers: Norv, what makes you think you can lead this team?
Turner: As you know, Troy Aikman loves me, and together with him, Emmit Smith, Michael Irvin and a killer O-Line, we won a few Super Bowls, remember?
Chargers: That's right! You guys were awesome!
Turner: You betcha. Did I mention that Troy let me introduce him when he was inducted into the Hall of Fame? We're pretty tight, and, as you might have heard, we won a few Super Bowls together.
Chargers: Damn, what a track record! What about your stints as Head Coach with Washington and Oakland? Seems like there were some tough times there.
Turner: Irvin, Smith, Larry Allen.
Chargers: But, but what about Randy Moss? How come he quit on you?
Turner: Jay Novacek! Moose Johnston! All at their best under my tutelage!
Chargers: And, dealing with Daniel Snyder and Al Davis, how did that go?
Turner: Hall of Famer Troy Aikman! Have you seen these ginormous rings? Look at the size of this damn thing!
Chargers: You're hired!

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